


Hanakotoba

by initialreaction



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Chaptered, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10693182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/initialreaction/pseuds/initialreaction
Summary: What would have happened if Tanuma Kaname had never moved out to the little town where Natsume Takashi had found a place for himself?Tanuma has just moved into this new town to attend a small college. While there, he meets a strange flower shop attendant named Natsume. Low and behold, Natsume also attends the same school as Tanuma. They hit it off, and attempt to maintain a relationship despite the difficulty of a strange, yokai-filled, life.





	1. Gardenia

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely self indulgent, and way too long. I was meant to be done with this first chapter like a week ago, but it got really long. So here it is. I hope it's not too boring, and I'll try to update again within the next week and a half. This is my first attempt at a long-form Fanfiction piece so I hope it's not too grating on the nerves, or annoying in any way. I hope my lack of knowledge of flower shops doesn't offend any florists. I tried my best.

     The humidity of that summer was stifling, and Tanuma Kaname developed a small, sweet crush. Tanuma wiped beads of stagnant sweat from his forehead. He then tried to fan himself off in the breeze-less afternoon as he walked along the street. Trees hung over the sidewalk, offering small cool spots that Tanuma loitered under for a bit as he walked past. Little kids wove their way between trees and fields to catch beetles and other bugs in the heat. Tanuma watched them zoom around as he walked, smiling whenever a kid showed one of the bugs to their friends. It was a picturesque summer day, one that you only ever see in a little countryside town, and one that Tanuma rarely took part in while he lived in his own little town.

     The flower shop wasn’t out of the way or hidden. Potted, hanging flowers decorated the entrance and signs that had pretty pictures of bouquets with prices on them. Across the street, a small café and a few other shops and buildings stood loosely around the place, trees sprinkled through the scene. The front of the flower shop was visible. And yet, Tanuma passed by the shop entrance four times before he walked up to the glass door, looked inside, and exhaled. He placed a hesitant hand on the handle, pushing the door open. A rush of cold air, thick with moisture but smelling like flowers, dirt, and paper, brushed past Tanuma as he entered the shop. The sun-touched heat of Tanuma’s body became more pronounced in the cold. A jingle of bells tied together by twine string went off as Tanuma pushed his way inside.

     The shop was small, with different greens hanging over the narrow isles. Most of the space in that shop had been filled with various flowers. Roses and carnations lined the front, popular and cheap and simple to give. Tanuma could recognize some other flowers, like lilies and tulips. The cuts had been placed around the shop in a strategic way, placing the more elegant and expensive ones out of reach, and the more common, or sturdy blooms out in front.  A few groups of uncut, potted blooms rested around the shop, settled in plastic containers and huddled in baskets. There were a only few plants that Tanuma could name, but the ones that stood out to him the most were the fragile orchids in little white ceramic pots. Behind their waxy leaves and gnarled roots, a shop attendant held a gentle smile on his face.

     “Welcome!” The attendant said with a polite, pleasant lilt. He was smaller than Tanuma’s lanky height, with soft features. Tanuma felt a bit awkward about his angular frame. Compared to the other man’s round face and gentle shoulders, Tanuma thought he looked too sharp. The man couldn’t have been older than Tanuma, but his golden brown eyes seemed to have seen more than any young person could claim to have seen. He found himself drawn to the shop attendant, not understanding why. There was something about him, something about the feeling that Tanuma got when he drew near that seemed familiar.

     A woman, older and strict looking, gave a sidelong glance as Tanuma walked past her. She nodded to him politely, acknowledging him, but continued to prod the fresh dirt in one of the potted plants. Tanuma could feel her eyes on him as he approached the counter where the attendant sat. He gave a slight greeting, but found that he had paused.   Tanuma couldn't help but to stare at those eyes for a moment to long. They were such a lovely color, and Tanuma felt a wave of relief wash over him as he stared. He stared for a moment too long, and the shop attendant looked away with a bashful blush and tiny smile. Tanuma chastised himself, looking away and bringing out a piece of folded paper from his pocket. 

     “Um!” He began, voice only a bit too loud. The older woman gave a glare in his direction, and Tanuma coughed and adjusted his volume. “I’m here to order some flowers?” He said, biting his lip. The shop attendant tilted his head, and smiled patiently, although the light blush still lingered on his face.

     “In bulk? Of course. Do you know the exact number?” The attendant asked, his eyes dropping to the piece of paper. Tanuma unfolded it and held it out to the attendant. His gentle fingers grabbed the folded page and looked over the order as Tanuma’s skin lost it's sun touched warmth. He began to shiver, with goosebumps popping up on his arms.

     “For the temple?” The shop attendant asked, and Tanuma looked confused for a moment.

     “Y-yes! For a funeral service.” Tanuma paused for a moment, then added with haste “My dad is the priest! For the ceremony. He is a shrine priest and is performing the ceremony. They need flowers for arrangements.” There seemed to be a small flash of recognition in the shop attendant’s eyes.

     “You’re Tanuma then!” The shop attendant said suddenly. “Your dad is the priest in Yatsuhara, right?” Tanuma was a bit flustered, but he nodded.

     “Yeah. How’d you guess that?” The attendant smiled once again. It was such a large and genuine smile compared to the first, awkward one that he flashed earlier. Tanuma found himself entranced by the shape of the attendant’s jaw as it set into a smile. He found his eyes drifting downwards to the attendant’s neck as the man brushed some hair away from his face and behind his ear. The silky strands brushed the pale brown skin of his neck. Tanuma forced himself to focus on the gentle voice that came from his lips, and cringed as he realized how creepy he was acting.

     “I’ve met him before. It’s a small town.” The shop attendant said, almost nervously. The question had caught him off guard, and Tanuma couldn't help but stifle a grin. “He did mention he had a son a couple of times. So I sorta figured that you were, y’know. Since you said…” He trailed off.

     “Yeah! Hah.” Tanuma chuckled. “I, uh, decided to stay in our old town to finish up high school there. Stayed with relatives instead.” He felt like he was rambling. "I mean, he did come by a lot. He didn't just abandon me or anything..." He trailed off. 

     The shop attendant laughed, and let his eyes fall to the counter in front of him, shy. He glanced at the piece of paper, the receipt, and jumped. “Oh! Will these flowers be for delivery, or would you prefer to pick them up?” he asked, remembering his job. He gave a quick glance to the woman as she, with a discerning eye, continued to pick individually cut flowers from their buckets. It was painfully obvious that she was listening with extreme interest to the conversation as her ears turned to the duo.

     “Pick-up.” Tanuma added apologetically. “It is a lot of flowers, so I hope that’s not too much trouble.” The attendant shook his head.

     “Not at all! We will have to order them, but they should arrive within a few days. Is that ok?"

     "Yes!" Tanuma responded."That's perfect."

     The attendant began to ring up the order on the cash register, and Tanuma brought out a bundle of cash, portioned out exactly for this task. The receipt printed cleanly and loudly from the old registers mouth. “Would you like for me to write down your name as the pick-up name?” When the attendant spoke again, he was polite and clear as any shop clerk would be. He had a second receipt, and wrote a date and the word “pick-up” on it.

     “O-oh yes, please. Tanuma. It’s Tanuma Kaname.” He said, a nervous halt in his voice. The attendant wrote down the name neatly onto the page as he pronounced it out.

     “Ka. Na. Me…” He said, counting out the wobbled strokes in the character. “And a phone number?” Tanuma had to lift his hand to his face and press down on his mouth to keep from making a noise. He made a gap between his fingers and said the numbers slowly, watching as the attendant wrote them down. When he finished, the shop attendant looked up with a smile.

     “I’m Natsume.” He said sweetly, but then became flushed with embarrassment. “I mean, if you wanted to know. Since I know your name now.” He paused. “Natsume Takashi.” His ears turned bright red, and Tanuma couldn’t help but let a little giggle escape from the tight hold he kept on his mouth. The shop attendant buried his face in his hands for a moment, and quickly straightened the playful smile that lingered on his lips. The older woman eyed the two with mock annoyance, and Tanuma responded with a lower voice.

     “Natsume. I-it’s a cute name.” He said. He had meant for the words to sound somewhat perky, an invitation to flirt in a subtle, safe way. He had wanted to start making tiny suggestions, as playful as he could manage. Instead, the words came out as a shy declaration by a little kid with a crush. The two stood in an awkward, fluffy silence.

     There was a strange sort of comfort in the atmosphere, with the strange air the two boys gave off finding each other similar and inviting. Tanuma thought it was strange how ethereal Natsume’s aura felt, how otherworldly and mysterious the air around him seemed. And yet, the kind eyes and shy blush completely broke through any suspicion Tanuma had. The air mostly left him energized, and concerned in a way that felt more protective than Tanuma felt comfortable with. He barely knew Natsume, anyways.

     “Um, I don’t have any work tomorrow.” Natsume said, and Tanuma looked dumbly at him before he realized what was going on. “There is a café across the street too…” Natsume passed the first, clean receipt to Tanuma and bit his lip.

     “Oh! Um.” Tanuma mumbled as he took the paper and put it absently into his pocket. “Uh…” Natsume let a tiny laugh out, and Tanuma began to turn bright red.

     “Do you want to meet me tomorrow? At noon?” Natsume asked. There was a slight cough from behind Tanuma, and the woman stood behind with an armful of assorted cut flowers, looking suspiciously at the duo. Tanuma felt somewhat ashamed as he realized that Natsume was working right at that moment, despite what seemed like a lull in business. He was being a distraction.

     “Yes! Tomorrow at noon. That would be great!” Tanuma said, collecting himself. Natsume smiled, but as he did, Tanuma moved around the older woman, and headed for the door. “I’ll… see you then!” Tanuma said, as he pushed his way out of the store, catching the amused wave and flushed face of Natsume as he left.

     He paused for a moment right outside the door. A fat calico cat with a short tail sat lazily near the entrance of the shop, on a little ledge about hip height. It looked with interest at Tanuma and yawned, a mewling sound escaping its mouth. It seemed to focus just past Tanuma, a slight annoyance in its eyes.

     Tanuma didn’t turn all the way, but glanced out of the corner of his eye. He held his breath as he caught a glimpse of a shadow, tall and menacing, empty of anything that could ever make it human, and impossible to mistake for a human. It was just a blurry glance that brought out a splitting headache and a sick feeling in the pit of Tanuma’s stomach. He looked away as the image in the side of his eye flickered, and exhaled with a shaky breath. Tanuma’s eyes settled on the cat as he stepped forward in the direction of the calico cat. It settled its eyes on Tanuma once again, this time more narrowed and alert in its gaze. Tanuma shivered, bit his lip, then took one concerned look at the flower shop door. Natsume smiled politely to that older woman inside. With a mix of worry and anxiousness burying itself into the back of Tanuma’s mind, he shuffled away from the shop, glancing around as he went.


	2. Camellia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsume muses about his date, and something sinister lurks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmm. I meant for this to be done last Tuesday, but instead here it is, more than a week late. It's a chapter that I like, but I'm concerned about mistakes and whether or not it's too boring. Ah well, I'm not gonna spend any more time on this chapter, so here it is, mistakes and all. I've been trying my best to write this as I would a book, so I hope that the style isn't too dull for anyone.  
> ANYWAYS, past my concerns and insecurities, here's Chapter 2. I really appreciate the kind words that have been sent my way, so I hope you enjoy!

    After an entire month-and-a-half of working part time at that local flower shop, Natsume Takashi had figured out a few things. Firstly, and most importantly, he always brought a sweater with him despite the season. Walking through the heat with a fuzzy sweater draped over his arm was always better than standing in a cold flower shop all day. The cut flowers liked the cold, and Touko and Shigeru tended not to worry so much when Natsume didn’t come home with frigid fingers and a runny nose. He would put the sweater on under the thick apron, rolling the sleeves to his elbows if it got too hot. He knew how to make bouquets now. He used phrases like “filler flowers” and “focal points” when putting pretty, small buds with pretty, larger ones. Natsume knew that bouquets without any green in them looked messy, and that white flowers should never go to a hospital. He knew that sometimes it was important to warn people about letting their pets near certain flowers. Natsume knew that the best thing to do when a particularly aggressive customer came in with a complaint was to nod and apologize. It was best to hope that the shop owner, with his perpetual scowl and gruff voice, would cut in before Natsume broke down. Natsume knew that the very same shop owner, with his scowl and gruff voice, cooed ever so gently to Nyanko-Sensei when he thought nobody was looking, holding out pieces of dried fish to feed the fat calico cat. The shop owner spent breaks petting the cat, a tiny smile playing on his lips. Every time, without fail, Nyanko-sensei would waddle up to him and loudly purr. The cat refused to speak about it.

     Natsume also knew that some Yokai loved the blooms that sat out in the shop. Other more irritating ones came around for different reasons, of course, but he liked to pay attention to the ones who walked around, smelling the aromas and smiling at the colorful flowers. Despite his best efforts, there were always a few flowers gone, sometimes with a little trinket or shiny pebble left as payment. It was best to mark a few extra flowers down as dried up or rotten, unsellable and thus, discarded. Natsume kept a little box filled with the trinkets right near the old, creaky cash register.

     Natsume knew, irritatingly enough, that sometimes people would come into the shop to flirt with him. The best thing to do in these situations was to be polite, and only talk about flowers while he turned down any invitations that offered to him. Sometimes he would let the shop keeper cough and glare over as Natsume apologized and asked if they needed any help with a bouquet or an arrangement. They would always frown, kick the ground, and wander away. More than anything, it left Natsume feeling awkward and apologetic.

      This was different. At the very least, Natsume felt different about it. He forgot about the flowers and the polite, customer service face. Instead, he couldn’t keep his lips from curling into a huge smile when the tall, black-haired boy spoke. He couldn’t help but to brush his light brown hair behind his ears with a bitten lip and a shy blush. Maybe it was just because of the name on that order. The Priest had always been kind, so this lanky young man, his sickly son, had to have been just as kind. He glanced over at the little envelope on the wall that held order slips, mulling over Tanuma’s order in his mind. 20 white lilies, 30 white chrysanthemums, 35 white carnations, and various Gladioli’s and Orchids. That face popped up, again and again as Natsume watched a few small spirits wander around the otherwise empty shop. That long nose, those dark eyes, the strange and alluring aura, that hair that framed his face and neck. Natsume cringed at his own thoughts, the gushy nature of these observations. Bashfully, he also thought about that gentle smile, the shy voice, the love-struck awkwardness of their interactions. As his shift ended and he said goodbye to the shop owner, Natsume tried to hide a tiny smile while his mind lingered on the date tomorrow.

     “What’s this I hear about Natsume Takashi having a date?” A teasing, familiar voice chimed from the entrance of the shop. Natsume looked up, panicked.

     “Taki!” he called, blush rising to his cheeks. “How’d you know about that?!” Taki skipped into the shop, letting the glass door close behind her. Nyanko-sensei hung in her arms, giving resigned look.

     “Mrs. Oda came by earlier to see my mom.” She said, stopping in front of Natsume with a mischievous smile. “She was raving about how, while she was minding her own business buying some flowers, Natsume Takashi himself (you know, the one who lives with the Fujiwara couple) was flirting shamelessly with a pale, sick looking boy she didn’t recognize, right in the middle of business hours. Can you believe it?” Drama dripped from Taki’s voice. She shifted Nyanko-sensei to one arm, using the other to make over the top motions as she spoke. Natsume could remember when they first met, when Taki couldn’t call out anyone’s name for fear they would be hurt. She was so much more energetic now, so much more expressive. She gave a half smile at Natsume. “Knowing Mrs. Oda, half the town knows by now. She probably went out of her way to go tell the Fujiwaras.”

     Natsume grimaced, hiding his bright red face in his hands. He had never been on an actual, official, date before. It wasn’t as if the Fujiwaras would be angry or anything. They had always been kind to Natsume, always supported his decisions and opinions. They had never made him feel guilty about anything, especially things he couldn't control. It was the thought of Touko and Shigeru smiling, wishing him luck that made him more embarrassed than anything else. Taki seemed to read his mind as she leaned forward, perched to tease.

     “Maybe they’ll help you pick out an outfit. Do you think Touko would pack snacks for your boyfriend?” She asked, grinning, laughing. Natsume made a high-pitched noise, moving his hands from his red face to his warm ears. Despite the assault, Natsume had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling at Taki’s playfulness.

     “Stop! Don’t say anymore!” He begged, but couldn’t hold back laughter of his own. Natsume pushed his sweater off, placing it in his bag as he glanced over to the shop owner. There was a tired look in the man’s eyes, but he accepted the squealing friends and said nothing. Natsume nodded an apology, and carefully herded Taki out of the store and into the heat outside.

     “It’s my duty as your closest friend to say these sorts of things, Natsume.” She responded. “So, what’s he like? The guy? He’s not a creep, is he?” Taki asked as she let herself be pushed out of the shop. The question had shifted from teasing to a gentle concern. It was the type of sweetness Taki had always had since they met in High School. The type of concern that cut through her energy like a worried knife. “I mean, you did just meet him for the first time today, and you only talked for a little while. Now you’re going on a date. That’s a big jump.”

     “He’s a tall, pale looking brat.” Nyanko-sensei added from Taki’s arms as he kicked his feet, attempting to loosen her grip. “Weak and sick. Perfect for you Natsume.” The cat narrowed his eyes in annoyance as Taki adjusted her grip on him.

     “He isn’t weak! And he’s not a creep either!” Natsume exclaimed, his cheeks puffing out involuntarily into a pout. “His name is Tanuma.” Taki tilted her head in recognition, and Nyanko-sensei opened one curious eye.

     “Like the priest who you talk to sometimes?” She asked. “The one from that shrine?” Natsume nodded. They came to a large gate and stopped. Taki put the cat on the ground gingerly, then leaned on the old wooden front door.

     “It’s his son.” Natsume said. “The priest mentioned having a son before, so I guess Tanuma finally moved down to live with his father.” Natsume sounded unsure despite attempts to keep his voice confident. The last thing he wanted was his most protective friend in a state of suspicion. Instead, much to Natsume’s relief, she seemed to smile.

     “Well, at least he isn’t a stranger or some random creep.” She responded. “Do you want me to come tomorrow? Or are you gonna be ok by yourself?” Natsume nodded, giving her a reassuring smile.

     “I’ll be fine. Nyanko-sensei doesn’t seem to hate him,” Natsume said, gesturing down to the cat who was licking his fur on the sidewalk, “so it’ll be fine.” He started walking off, waving at Taki as he went. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow afterwards, ok?”

     “Fine. I want to hear every single detail, Natsume! See you.” Taki called after him, waving her goodbye, before opening the large wooden door.

     “You’ll be the first to know.” Natsume watched the door close, then bent down to pick up Nyanko-sensei himself before continuing. A few Yokai were spread around the street as Natsume walked. They huddled in the cool shade of trees and buildings, or splashing the water in bird baths and water buckets left outside. Natsume watched them loaf around, passing the time in early evening heat. Nyanko-sensei yawned absently as a few mouse-sized Yokai scurried underneath a porch. For a long moment, there was only the sounds of summer in the background.

     “He has a little bit of power, you know. More than average at least.” The cat said suddenly, too casual for Natsume’s comfort. “That kid you’re gonna meet tomorrow.” Natsume looked down at Nyanko-sensei, eyes wide and heart quickening with understanding.

     “He can see?” His voice wavered, barely above a whisper. The cat scoffed, turning his head upwards to look at Natsume.

     “Probably not. He’s too weak, I told you already. He caught wind of that crazy brat’s shiki, but he didn’t seem to be able to see it fully.” Nyanko-sensei’s eyes closed slowly as the Fujiwara house came into view. He let out a little sigh. “It’s better that you know so you don’t start feeling guilty if he seems sensitive around Yokai. You get annoying when you start feeling guilty.” As they passed the houses threshold, Natsume pursed his lips. There was a slight giddy feeling in him mixed with a worried one, but he steadied them both.

     “Can you help me keep everything a secret from him, Sensei?” Natsume asked as he placed Nyanko-sensei down in front of the door, then pulled it open. "About me seeing Yokai?" The other secret went unmentioned, a given in the situation.

     “That’ll just make him annoying to deal with.” The cat huffed. He waddled inside indignantly, making a direct beeline to the kitchen where a whirling fan blew the scent of food through the house.

     “I’m home!” Natsume called, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. As Natsume kicked his shoes off at the door, he heard a few quick clatters in the kitchen, and the shuffle of feet. He watched the cat stop in front of the kitchen door, affectionately yowling as an older woman poked her head out. Natsume was greeted with kind eyes, a patient smile, and a warm greeting.

     “Welcome back, Takashi!” Touko called. Behind her, Shigeru sat at the table, and nodded his own greeting. “Dinner’s almost ready, so why don’t you go change?” She seemed a bit giddy. Natsume began climbing the stairs as Touko ducked back into the kitchen with enthusiasm. In the kitchen, he could hear Touko’s attempt to stifle a giggle as Shigeru made a playful shushing noise, trying their best to be calm. Natsume, his bag clattered onto his desk, grew somewhat anxious despite his best efforts.

     He walked back downstairs, collared shirt and stiff pants replaced with loose, comfortable clothes. The dining table had been set, three spots decorated with various pieces of dishware, each holding different foods. Bowls of rice and soup, small plates with cooked vegetables and meats, glasses of various drinks. On the floor, a little mat had been put out with a plate of food sitting on top of it. Nyanko-sensei Natsume sat down across from Shigeru, who took a sip from his glass. Touko skipped to her own chair, and sat down with the two men. Natsume glanced nervously around as they all began to eat.

     “How was your day, Takashi?” Shigeru asked, placing a vegetable into his mouth. Both him and Touko tried to look interested in a normal amount instead of overeager. They know, Natsume thought.

     “It was good. Taki dropped by and I walked her home.” Natsume didn’t mention it. He was positive they knew, but they didn’t say a word. As the trio ate, conversation popping up here and there about normal topics. Shigeru talked about an interesting thing he heard at work today. Touko gave a quick rundown of how the neighbors were doing. Natsume mentioned flowers and orders and how he saw the shop’s owner petting Nyanko-sensei during a break. The subject never strayed to Mrs. Oda’s gossip or Natsume’s date and soon, their plates were clean. There was a lull, and as Touko began to clean up their plates, Natsume stood to help.

     “Um.” He hummed as he began stacking the dirty dishes at the table. Shigeru and Touko both smiled silently, giving Natsume their full attention. “Tomorrow… I’m going out.” He said. “On a date…” His face felt hot, and he didn’t really understand why. It should have been easy to tell Touko and Shigeru that he was going on a date. He imagined that people told their parents about dates all the time, and the Fujiwaras were kind of like his parents, right? They probably wouldn't disagree with this, either. Natsume felt a bit ashamed that it was so difficult to tell them something so benign. This was something they could know about his life that wouldn’t wipe away their smile, or make them scared, and yet Natsume felt completely embarrassed.

      “Really? That sounds lovely!” Touko had a huge smile on her face, but she kept her voice level, and her words chosen carefully, holding back obvious enthusiasm.

     “If you want to, you can tell us how it went when you get home.” Shigeru said, holding back just as much. “Are you nervous about it?” He asked, and Natsume nodded.

     “I’m a little nervous.” He said, which was true, but the feeling was only half from the date.

     “It’s fine to be a little nervous. That means that you care about the date, and want it to go well.” Shigeru’s voice was so warm, and Natsume found his nerves calmed a bit. Why was he so worried about telling the Fujiwaras? They both responded carefully, focused and measured in a way that invited Natsume talk, but let him bail out of the conversation if it became too uncomfortable. Natsume felt compelled to say more.

     “His name is Tanuma. He moved in with his dad at that shrine in Yatsuhara recently.” He brought the dishes to Touko at the sink, setting them down inside of the basin as he spoke.

     “I remember that shrine.” Touko added as she turned the water on. “Well, I'm glad you're excited!” Her voice was cheerful. “I’m glad. I’m sure you’ll have a good time.” Then, her voice turned somewhat serious, protective in the way Natsume imagined a mother’s voice sounded. “But don’t stay out too late, and call us if anything dangerous happens!”

     “He’ll be fine. You worry far too much.” Shigeru chimed as he stood up from the table. Natsume yawned. "Why don't you go get ready for bed, Takashi?" Shigeru suggested as Touko pouted. Natsume nodded, and walked up the stairs as he listened to the comforting footsteps of the Fujiwaras below.

     The night settled over the house. When all the lights were off, Natsume laid on his bedding, staring at the ceiling while he thought about many things. The impending outing, the Fujiwaras kindness, the Yokai who always stopped by, and a little, thin, book. In his bag, on his desk, that book sat precariously, like a rock on a taught piece of paper. Something lurked just outside the window. It was tall, menacing, devoid of anything that qualified it as an empathetic creature, and very familiar. As it cast a shadow over the boy and his Book of Friends, Natsume shut his eyes, and ignored it.


	3. Narcissus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanuma feels off on the day of his anticipated date. It seems almost unnaturally so. He grows more concerned as it threatens to ruin his date with Natsume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMMMM... To be honest this chapter has been in my documents folder since late October/early November. I've been working on it since about July, and I finally got around to editing and posting it. I am a college student majoring in Creative Writing, so my writing priorities tend to not have fanfiction as very important, but I swear I am still gonna try my best to finish this, even if it takes me 20 years. Anyways, thank's a ton for the lovely comments. They are all so nice and I love getting feedback from people that doesn't sound like a classroom workshop. I hope there aren't any glaring, terrible mistakes or inconsistencies here, but oh well if there are. The next two chapters should be a bit more illuminating and exciting though so that might make up for the intense lateness??? Anyways, here's chapter 3!

     “Did you hear?” An older woman spoke in a mock-hushed voice to her companion. They lingered on the tree-shaded road right before a cluster of buildings. “About that boy who’s been living with the Fujiwara couple, you know the one.” The two had stopped a little way in front of Tanuma. He began to draw closer to them, hands in the pockets of his shorts. Their voices became clearer through the thick, oppressive heat. He could feel sweat forming on his legs and arms as he trudged along.

     “Natsume,  I think .” The younger woman interjected. Tanuma stopped in his tracks a few feet behind them. “What about him?” She asked.

     “Yes, Natsume! Well I heard some interesting news this morning when I went shopping.” The older woman leaned closer, voice lowered in an exaggerated whisper, a parody of a normal one. “He is dating a _boy_.” She put an uncomfortable amount of emphasis on the last word, and Tanuma felt himself cringe. 

     “A boy?  Really ?” The second woman gasped as if she had  been scandalized , placing a hand over her mouth. “How disappointing! He was such a handsome and sweet young man too. So respectful and popular.” She added. At this Tanuma forced his feet to push forward, trudging past the two women and their gossipy chatter. The words didn't bother him that much.  He had grown accustomed to gossip over the years, but everything felt more sensitive today . The words, despite his best efforts, stuck themselves into his head. As their voices shrank behind him, he focused his eyes on that cluster of buildings.  The little flower shop, that neutral café, and all the shops and centers that surrounded them came into view . Little seeds of unease began to sprout in the back of Tanuma’s mind. 

     It was too early. They  were supposed to meet at noon. He glanced down at his wristwatch. The time stood at 10:45.  He stopped next to the café, settling himself against the sun-bathed stone of the buildings wall, and began staring at his watch . Tick… Tick… Tick… The sound was almost inaudible until he pressed his ear to the wristwatch. He listened to the slow ticking for a moment. 10:46… 10:47… 10:48... Waiting made time move slower, and as the heat clawed at his skin, he found himself alone with his own thoughts.

      What would Natsume think about him being here so early? The thought creeped into Tanuma’s mind as he tried to imagine Natsume acting disgusted. There was a haze over his body, a weird sort of discomfort as he stood there. The streets were  nearly empty, with a few people shuffling around in that heat. It was difficult to imagine Natsume in any mood, any ‘way’, other than generally agreeable. The two didn’t know each other that well. They had met once. That realization was chilling. They were  basically strangers.  Tanuma found himself folding his arms, almost holding himself together as he began to shiver . Is that how dates  were supposed to work? Strangers meet up at cafés and talk for a little while until they decide if they like each other or not? Then, they decide to either stay together for the rest of their lives or never see each other again. That’s assuming, of course, that meeting up with a relative stranger is a normal thing to do in the first place.  Tanuma was sure he could see water evaporate right in front of his eyes, the steam rising into saturated air like steam on a cup of tea .  Adult people dated friends, coworkers, classmates, or any variation of the three, not strangers . He began biting his nails.

     Natsume would,  undoubtedly , find him boring and annoying, Tanuma decided as his unease spread to his restless legs . He began tapping his feet, shuffling them  awkwardly around. It was obvious Natsume was out of his league. Popular, bright, nice.  His face flushed as his teeth worked its way through his thumb nail, leaving the skin soft, raw, wrinkled, and hurting . What if Natsume didn’t show up at all? He seemed way too nice to do something like that. He shoved his hands into his pockets, separating them from his nervous teeth. They burned hot beneath the thin fabric of his shorts, and he could feel sweat to moisten his palms.  Natsume would show up, realize how dull and weird Tanuma was, then  politely never contact him again .  Or  maybe the date would be so bad that Natsume would leave before it even ended, finding any excuse to stop hanging out with Tanuma . His nervous teeth found his bottom lip, and began to shake against it. Tanuma wondered in that moment as heat became a layer on his skin why he even left the house to begin with. 

     The heat was humidly oppressive, and sweat rolled down the side of Tanuma’s face in little beads. Despite this he felt cold, and the air wasn’t  being pulled into his lungs  properly .  Maybe he should  just leave?  Maybe he should go home? There was a dizzying feeling around Tanuma.  Maybe it would be better if Natsume  just thought he was rude and boring, and that this date  just didn’t happen at a-

     “Tanuma?” a sweet voice asked. He looked up, snapped out of his daze. “Are you alright?” Natsume’s head tilted, concern in those lovely brown eyes.

     “Natsume!” Tanuma looked at him for a moment, mouth agape before forcing a slight smile. “Hi! Uh. I’m fine!” The worry didn’t leave Natsume’s face, but Tanuma managed to exhale. “I’m glad you… you came.” He breathed, as his shoulders relaxed.

     “Have you been waiting long? I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier.” Natsume’s gaze settled on him, still unsure.

     “No! Oh. No, it’s fine. I was too early, I should be the one to apologize.” Tanuma glanced at his watch. 11:32.

     “How long did you wait?” Natsume asked as he watched Tanuma glance down at his watch. Tanuma felt compelled to answer, a tinge of guilt rising.

     “30,  maybe 45 minutes…” He  meekly responded.

     “But it’s so hot outside!”  Natsume  nearly exclaimed, although Tanuma could tell he was holding back a bit, a strange tinge of insecurity in his voice .  He reached out, hesitating for only a moment before grabbing Tanuma with his round, cold fingers . They were stronger than he had expected, firm and resolute. Despite this, Tanuma felt the urge to grab Natsume’s hands and warm them up with his own large, sun-warmed ones. How were those fingers so cold in the middle of this heat? There were a few rough spots on them, small and normal calluses. He let Natsume pull him along.

     “Let’s go inside, ok?” Natsume said, his hand getting clammy around his arm as Tanuma noticed his red, blushed ears.

     “Oh…kay…” He didn’t  really need to say anything, but he did anyways. Tanuma pushed forward a bit, matching Natsume’s stride. With his free hand, Tanuma reached out and grabbed the door handle for the café’s entrance, pulling it open. Natsume smiled as he let his fingers fall away from his date’s wrist and stepped through.  As Tanuma stepped through after him, cold air hit him  directly , washing over his heated skin, and it didn’t feel good at all .

     It was like the humidity became a solid entity. Tanuma felt his eyes drop to the floor as he stumbled forward. It was quick, only for a moment, and he tried to catch himself before he went down. A panicked hand grabbed Tanuma  firmly .  Maybe it was two? Tanuma only knew that he was being guided to a nearby table.  A flash of embarrassment, completely out of place in Tanuma’s hazy mind, bubbled up as Tanuma  was helped down into a chair .

     “Tanuma, are you ok?”

     He looked up to that concerned face, the voice that was far more panicked this time than it had been before. He  gradually became aware of Natsume’s firm, worried grasp. It hurt his shoulder a little, as if Natsume was holding on for dear life. Tanuma gathered himself as best as he could, and tried to give a reassuring smile.

     “I’m fine.  Really !” His vision was getting less hazy, so  technically that counts as fine. Tanuma didn’t mention the burning shame that hid behind his already heated skin.  Behind Natsume a waitress, a young woman in black clothes with an apron tied around her waist, hovered  worriedly around them .  She paced for a second before going to the kitchen, then returned after another second with a class of water in her hands .  As his strength returned, and as he focused on ignoring his headache, Tanuma  suddenly became aware of his surroundings . He tried to stand, but Natsume’s hand held him  firmly in place,  probably without Natsume’s knowledge. Instead, he dipped his head and mumbled words of apology as the waitress placed the glass on the table next to him. He clutched the glass and began to take small sips of the cool drink while words fell off his tongue between sips.  He felt steadier, some semblance of normalcy returned with only a light residual tingle left as a sign something had even been wrong .  He felt sick, like his emotions had buried themselves deep in his stomach causing a weird, light-headed, nauseous feeling . He placed the glass of water, half-empty, onto the table.

     “I  really am fine.” Tanuma repeated, pushing himself up from the chair. Natsume didn’t let go or move his hand, but he followed his motion, letting Tanuma stand. There was a hesitation, an urge in Natsume’s hand to push him back down. Instead, his hand dropped, and the two stood with an awkward silence settling between them.

     A small *ahem*, polite but very uncomfortable snapped them out of their little moment. The waitress wrung her hands as she asked if Tanuma was ok, nervous and unsure of what to do next. For a moment, Tanuma  just looked around. There were a few people, sweaty and tired looking on that hot summer day, scattered through the café. The place would  probably get crowded during the winter. From the small group only a few had even turned their head towards the commotion. A slight blush rose to Tanuma’s already heated face as more apologies spilled from his mouth. Beside him, Natsume added his own apologies to the frazzled waitress. Finally, the woman led them to a booth before turning to clean up the table Tanuma had collapsed near. When she finished, as if nothing had happened, she took the two’s shy order of  just a cold drink for each of them.

     It took a moment for the realization to set in. Tanuma gained clarity as the waitress placed a cool glass of tea in front of him. He glanced over to Natsume, who stared  intently at Tanuma, eyebrows knit together. Despite his anxiety flaring up, he had to fight back a fit of laughter. Natsume looked so serious, pouting and staring at Tanuma’s face. Despite his best efforts and his shaking hand, his lips curled upward into a grin. Natsume’s expression softened, and some of the awkwardness lifted.

     But then, for some reason, Tanuma felt an odd mix of feelings. Lonely? Guilty? Unworthy, unappealing, upset?  They were pervasive, insidious in an  uncomfortably unnatural way as if he had forced himself to think these things . All Tanuma could do was sit stiff with a shrinking smile despite his efforts to maintain it. He felt a throbbing at the back of his head, but clung to his tiny smile, to Natsume’s own soft expression. He didn’t even notice as a cat ran in after another patron opened the door.  He didn’t notice the waitress shriek as the fat thing bounded up to the table where the duo sat with surprising speed . It wasn’t until the cat had jumped onto the table that Tanuma pried himself away from his own thoughts.

     “That’s the cat that was in front of…” Tanuma trailed off  lamely as he watched the calico thing shuffle around on the table, knocking Tanuma’s tea over . He reached out and caught it as it splashed his shirt. The cat jumped as Tanuma tried to keep his drink from spilling any more.  It gave a swift slap with its chubby paw right onto his face, then rushed away as the young waitress chased it with a broom .

     “T-Tanuma!” That was the third time Natsume called his name that day, and Tanuma felt his haze end. His smile grew large, confused and genuine as he stroked his cheek. For a moment, he could only chuckle, a certain kind of giddiness settling over him. Partly, it was over the ridiculousness of the situation. He  nearly faints on his date and then a cat spills tea on his shirt and slaps him? That was a strange scenario. He also laughed at how ridiculous he had been acting.  That anxiety that welled up inside him was  certainly still there, making his hands shake and his palms sweat, but he also felt ok with it .  He felt comfortable with the nervousness of sitting across from a relative stranger, drinking together with him .  From that mix of comfort and anxiety, a weird sort of confidence replaced the haze, and Tanuma’s headache became only a light, residual buzz .

     “What on earth  just happened?” he said with a smile. Natsume watched with a pale face and knitted eyebrows. “That was hilarious, wasn’t it?” The words were partly reassuring Natsume who broke down and gave a tired, weary smile.  The expression worried Tanuma in a way he couldn’t  really place, so he paused, but tried to turn his attention to the damage .  The only thing that had  really gotten wet from the spilled cup was his shirt, a button up garment that he had worn over a plain t-shirt .  Tanuma slipped it off, then tried his best to clean off the residual wetness, finally giving up and setting it aside, folded .  The waitress cleared up the puddle that sat on the table near the glasses base, and gave a look of relief that the mess didn’t spread any further .

     “I’m sorry.” Natsume said, and Tanuma’s face fell  slightly . “This hasn’t been going well at all, I’m sorry.” Natsume began, wringing his hands, fingers rubbing his palms. He looked down ashamed and guilty. “You are  probably having a terrible time, too. I’m sorry. You must think I’m so-. “

     “Kind.” Tanuma interrupted. “And nice, and nervous a little bit, but that’s ok because I’m nervous too.” The words  just rambled out of Tanuma’s mouth unfiltered. “I  was worried I was ruining this date for you. I mean, I got here too early,  nearly passed out in front of you, and made you worry about me.” He paused, and took a deep breath as Natsume leaned forward in dumbfounded awe. “But I don’t want to apologize. And I don’t want you to apologize either.”

     “I like you.” Natsume said, a bashful look on his face as he chewed on his lip.  “I  was worried that you  just wanted to say that you didn’t like me this whole time, but  I think you’re too kind to do something like that .” There seemed to be a crack in Natsume’s expression, a vulnerability that Natsume hid  scarily well. “I don’t think you ruined the date. And I won’t apologize either!” He pushed determination into his voice, balling his fists and smiling.

     “Let’s start over right here.” He raised his eyes, holding the shaky gaze in his own. Natsume inhaled, sat up straight, and put both of his hands flat on the table. He copied the motion, placing his own hands in front of him and only centimeters away from Natsume. With a gentleness, Natsume scooted his hand forward and let his fingers touch Tanuma’s.  As their fingers moved closer and closer, intertwining with a tremor in both of their hands, Natsume spoke in a quiet voice .

     “I’d like that.”


End file.
